It's that time of year for goin' SHOPPING It's that time of year for seein' GRANDMA It's that time of year for lying to CHILDREN That's right, Santa doesn't exist It's that time of year for hatin' FRUITCAKE It's that time of year for drinkin' EGG NOG It's that time of year for bakin' a MINCE PIE Betcha money by the end of the year you'll be FAT Toys a plenty and choo-choo trains Summer sausage and candy canes Walmart santa coin donations Salvation Army dedications Buy! (Consumers gotta) Consumers hit the malls, and drive the economy Consumers do your stuff, and make us all glad to be home! It's that time of year for hanging STOCKINGS It's that time of year for GINGERBREAD MEN It's that time of year for getting a FAKE TREE Decorate or you're not gonna eat It's that time of year for watching RE-RUNS It's that time of year for roasting CHESTNUTS It's that time of year for opening PRESENTS Don't forget, better clean up the mess that YOU MADE Christmas music overplayed Every minute of every day Find a present for your mother Then your dad and then your brother! It's that time of year for cheesy SWEATERS It's that time of year for fuzzy EARMUFFS It's that time of year for footed PAJAMAS You know the ones with the hole in the butt It's that time of year for family DRAMA It's that time of year for lots of DRUG USE It's that time of year for having a BREAKDOWN Holidays are the days that will make you hate life
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